Some of our oldest friends visited us yesterday and today. They live in another state and they come by once a year to visit. We didn't have much time together so as soon as the kids were down we got down to
brass tacks: "What is your cutting edge right now?" This was Helen's question, and I'm glad she asked it.

When it got to my turn, I had to say, "I'm a little lost right now." I'm running sound for my church, but not really part of any leadership. I'm starting a new business with a partner in facilitating international adoptions from Russia, which is going well (we placed 15 out of 17 orphans who participated in our latest program. Yay, God!), but its going to be a non-profit and I have been feeling like God has called me to create for-profit businesses which "do good". I call it "entrepenurial ministry". What is with me? I should be really happy about making this kind of difference for these kids.

I guess I'm not sure where this is going, and I'm not practicing trusting in God for my future. I'm expecting more, something bigger. I'm frustrated with some of the limitations of the current business, and I'm not meshing well with the vision that my church has.

So my friends encouraged me about being in the "I don't know" of my situation, and trusting in God for the result. Basic stuff, but really applicable. I didn't feel a lot better, but the edge of despair was taken off it it. As I think of it, there are plenty of in between times when I don't know what God's up to, and the challenge is to let it be AND trust in God. God's help comes "in due time". I don't have to demand the answers up front. I just remember how good He is to me, and it becomes easier to trust him and rest in that.

I've had several teachers mention celebrating the "not yet" of life. That's the pilgrimage. John Wimber said that this life is the only time we'll be able to have faith, because in Heaven we'll know. There is something special about being a little lost, being in the "I don't know". It is the chaos before order, discomfort of the current situation which urges us beyond our complacency. It is out of this that action comes. The moment is pregnant with possibilities. Ooo, I got myself a little bit excited to see what God has for me next.

"I don't know!"
- posted by Jor @ 10:55 PM -

"B" (see below) and I are back in a constructive dialog. It's a pleasure to interact with someone with her openness, honesty and humility.

The following was generated from our renewed dialog. It was some decent writing so I thought I'd use it for the blog:

I don’t see the “facts” of a situation as being the most important part. I think the narratives that people are living inside of are more consequential. Two different individuals might attest to the same set of “facts”, and yet the action they take because of those facts could be radically different based on the narrative of care (the concerns that they are taking care of and the strategy for taking care of them) is different. That’s why I’m more interested in the person’s story about a situation: what they say they are doing and why; and not so much on the facts of the situation.

Of course, there are domains of action in which I’d much rather everyone was focused on the “facts”: my doctor, my accountant, the engineer who built the bridge I’m driving on, my investment manager. Objectivism has proven very powerful and I don’t want to take away one jot from that.

To me, it’s like Newton and Einstein. Most of the time we use Newton for engineering, science, etc. But without Einstein and quantum mechanics we wouldn’t have atomic power, transistors, etc. Newton is like the objective framework. It is really powerful in all sorts of ways. It gets the job done. But there are problems that aren’t solvable using an objective framework. I think that these problems are important. These are issues around “meaning”, “relevance” and “value”. Meaning, relevance and value don’t exist in an objective world. They are entirely subjective. Anyone who talks about them is using a subjective framework. These are obvious examples, there are others which aren’t as obvious, yet if we are unaware of how our interpretation is the experience of truth for humans (subjective framework) there are terrible consequences: Right justifies Might.

Would you say more oppression has come about because the oppressors didn’t believe the universe could be directly known, so any behavior could be justified? Or rather that oppressors have thought their ideas were right and true, which authorized them to force the consequences of those ideas on others?

(And there are always those who don’t care about the consequences of their actions on others, whether they think objectively or subjectively.)

I believe in a God who does experience truth (or maybe it would be more meaningful to say He generates it). And I believe that He can impart that knowledge to me, but it is a supernatural activity that interacts with my biological capacity to interpret. As soon as He lifts His hand from me, I have to make interpretations based on memory, culture, language, and traditions of thinking made possible by the unimaginably complex biological structures I am, and my history of interactions since conception. I guess He could keep me in a state of constant supernatural apprehension of Truth. I just haven’t observed that as happening in anyone’s life.

I need to get over this, but it makes me crazy when someone says, “The Bible says...”. Unless they are quoting directly, I get the nasty urge to reply, “Your Bible talks to you?!?”. And even if it did, they’d still be the ones making the interpretation of what the spoken words meant.

In my view the best-selling book in the world isn’t a scientific text with formulas for deriving truth, its about meaning, relevance and values. It is a book of stories, not facts. But people get confused and try to make it into a source of Truth, oblivious to the layers of interpretation of culture, tradition, and language. It almost makes me want to become orthodox. At least orthodoxy recognizes and acknowledges the tradition of interpretation. Protestants seem so allergic to traditions of interpretation that they forget that they have their own. It becomes unobserved, and therefore we can’t act to anticipate, or respond to breakdowns in that domain.

But that’s just my current interpretation!

- posted by Jor @ 11:26 PM -